Sunday, the 2nd of November, 2014

It has been an extremely long time since I have had the time and the place to be able to sit down and over analyse my life; for I have had a dark soul as of late. Various first world problems have occurred in the time that has elapsed between my last lengthy period of being able to stop and ponder on life's intricate yet ever growing more worryingly bigger - problems and inaccuracies which directly are the bane of our hopes dreams and yet ever fuel our deepest and darkest fears. In a nutshell, the past month has been, no less than hell. Not quite the burning inferno that scriptures speak of, I have struggled and fought off a rather infectious yet hacking flu, of which I must have caught off of one of the new university students who recently moved into the city. Alongside all the fresh faces of the newly enrolled student populous; a severe bout of flu and colds and coughs were rife throughout the city. I was not prone to this. For almost a month, I lived off of hot cups of tea - every quarter of an hour to supplement the moisture and hydration which was being expelled from my body through the medium of a rasping cough and torrential cold. The power and heating in my house has also decided to follow suit and pack its metaphorical bags off to the power company; as a result, if I didn't wear thermal socks and long-johns and a vest underneath woolly clothes - I would have easily caught pneumonia or hypothermia. I was born and raised in the country, which resulted in a slightly thicker skin than my city-dwelling friends; Despite this, I still half-froze to death in my house. You never realise the value of hot water when there is no way of obtaining heat anywhere else in the house you live in. Due to this, I spend at the least, fifty pounds worth of tea and milk and sugar over the past thirty days.

Recently, an acting company approached me to take up the post of Musical Director for their next production - of a comic opera/operetta. Opportunistic or foolish are the verbs you can choose to apply to me here, whichever works best for you. Either way, two nights a week, getting through the music for a song or chorus number, learnt and off-score, is no mean feat. The first few rehearsals however, the rehearsal pianist and my assistant failed to turn up. Nevertheless, leading from the piano, meant that I was in my comfort zone and powered through the music. Although we zoomed through a number or two per the session, we did not often go back and revise what we had learnt; even though the show was months away, as soon as the music is learnt, there is the small matter of the staging. Giving them only 5 mins break halfway through the rehearsal perhaps is very stingy, but it means we make use of the two and a half hours that we get two nights a week. At the end of each rehearsal, a couple gin and tonics are needed by everyone, maybe a little shattered, but I keep everyone busy resulting in a fun rehearsal. In the new year, I will need to sort out the small matter of getting together a chamber orchestra. It may need to be small, but I will need a good strong ensemble to underpin the madness which I am positive will erupt onstage. At the end result, I don't expect a sell out show, but the knowledge that we did a top quality production with a high musical standard - casting is next week, so getting the characters right is essential. Fingers crossed we power on like a train with no breaks - relentless and ever steaming forward relentlessly.

After my last adoration and infatuation of a lady, I was not in a rush to meet anybody new. I was always courteous but nothing more than cold and polite to everyone I have met and in my social circles. After the way I felt that my heart could not take any more pain, and so I bided my time for the pain and heart-ache to dissipate; and in any case, she found someone special in her life. A stable income, a nice house and a nice guy, and being the owner of a rather adorable Labrador to boot, her new partner was ideal for her and her situation. I supported her in any that I could as a friend; now we are the best of friends, because I knew this was where she was happiest most. Nothing was awkward, because we were adult about everything, and she knew that I had no ulterior motives other than to make sure she was doing the right thing for her and ensuing her happiness. In any case, we still meet up from time to time, drinking coffee and laughing about various anecdotes we tell each-other. However, in my low period a few weeks ago, whilst I was suffering from a bout of bad inner feelings and illness, I met a person. A fellow pianist, and a flautist, she too was new and exciting. We met in a bar, with some mutual friends of ours. After a few too many drinks, we hadn't really talked but yet we parted thinking nothing of it. Later a few days later, we crossed paths and exchanged telephone numbers and had lengthy conversations. It may be very early days yet, but we spend hours together but we provide such relief from each our own work. Taking the slow road here is the only option as I really want to get to know her really well before throwing myself in the deep end again. After having made a couple of "casual" inquiries, I discovered that she may, for the sake of coyness, she wouldn't say either way - feel the same way in the want to get to know me properly and really well. Things can only hopefully move forward from here - both of us has admitted to the moment we step into our own homes, hoping for a phone call from the other or an answerphone message, and checking hours later even if there has been no ringing.

In all, this has been a very eventful few weeks, illness, sadness, an opera which is still going on and me meeting this person. With the changing of autumn to winter, the boiler-man announced that he will come and fix my heating next week, so I can look forward to toasty evenings in. The only thing I would change about the last few weeks - more chocolate digestive biscuits.

With love from the (not so) Lonely Artiste.